Okay Is This Werid? Please Answer! :) Best Andwers 10 Points! :)?
Question by I am a girl: okay is this werid? please answer! 🙂 best andwers 10 points! :)?
okay well there is this guy that is 2 years older than me and he is aa family friend and i have known him since i was about 6 or 7 and since my family and i moved from North carolina up to vermont i haven’t seen him since but i still have had feelings for him ever since i was about 8 adn its going on 8 years now that i have had the same feelings. and i found that i cant see him when i go down to visit because he is leaving off to boot camp the same time we are visiting. 🙁 idk why i have these feelings or what to do because i really want to see him.:(
1: can you tell me why i have these feelings for him that havent changed a bit over the last 8 years?
2: can you tell me what to do? thanks guys soo much 🙂
Best answer:
Answer by Mariah
possibly b/c he’s been a fam. friend…
call them and ask to talk to him, does he have the same feelings for u…get his ad. from his boot camp and write to him. try as hard as u can to keep in touch with him. u never know what could happen
Answer by Fan
1. Love is just a chemical in our brain. You just have a lot of it, falling for the right guy at the right time, during preteen and teenage years. Your love is special.
In a study, some college students were shown with the picture of their loved one. Looking at the picture, the experience of romantic attraction activated those pockets of the brain with a high concentration of receptors for dopamine, the chemical messenger closely tied to states of euphoria, craving and addiction. Biologists have linked high levels of dopamine and a related agent, norepinephrine, to heightened attention and short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. When they’re first captivated, scientists argue, couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship.
Scientists Bartels and Zeki compared their MRI images to brain scans taken from people in different emotional states, including sexual arousal, feelings of happiness and cocaine-induced euphoria. The pattern for romantic love was unique. But there was some overlap with and close proximity to other positive states. “This makes sense,” said Zeki. “These were young people who were practically willing to die for their lover. You would expect that the images would reflect many strong emotions all at once.”
In one recent study, University of Minnesota researcher Ellen Berscheid asked a group of young men and women to make four lists: of all their friends; of the people they loved; of everyone they thought sexually attractive; and finally, of those with whom they were “in love.” As expected, the last list was the shortest, usually just one name. That same person, however, appeared on all the lists. “It’s this combination of friendship, affection and lust,” Berscheid said, “that makes it so powerful.”
This power is enough to warp judgment in otherwise sensible people, just as a spike in dopamine activity might. As psychologists have demonstrated in several studies, newly smitten lovers often idealize their partner, magnifying the other’s virtues and explaining away their flaws: She is the funniest person I’ve ever met. He’s moody because of his job. This behavior, sometimes called the “pink lens effect,” is often sharply at odds with the perceptions of friends and family, psychologists say. New couples also exalt the relationship itself. “It’s very common; they think they have a relationship that’s more special, closer, than anyone else’s,” said Berscheid, a leading researcher on the psychology of love.
Yet some idealization may be crucial to building a longer-term relationship, said Pamela Regan, a researcher at Cal State L.A. and author of the recently released “The Mating Game” (Sage), ) a book about relationships. “If you don’t sweep away the person’s flaws to some extent, then you’re just as likely to end a relationship or not even try,” she said. “This at least gives you a chance. If you think of romantic attraction as a kind of drug that alters how you think, then in this case it’s allowing you to take some risks you wouldn’t otherwise.”
Passionate love’s euphoria is certainly enough to push many people through the first two stages of courtship: self-disclosure, the up-all-night storytelling; and interdependence, when lovers are continually together, often contentedly doing nothing. But that pink lens effect might also help people through stage three: conflict, when tension and doubts about the couple’s future prompt arguments and soul-searching.
2. Take it slow. Studies have shown that taking more time dating leads to a better and longer marriage. To start, you could call him or write a note or poem conveying your feelings to him. Or just ask whether you could be a couple, boyfriend and girlfriend, or ask him out when you get get the chance. If it was me I’d call or write a note. Even songs and a book.
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