Am I a Mug or Just Desperate to Save My Family?
Question by Gemma: Am I a mug or just desperate to save my family?
I am in need of some “adult” advice!
I have been withmy fiancé for 11 years now and at a stand still! I don’t know which way to go from here…
We have our own home, car, beautiful things and we have a great lifestyle holidays etc….
Most importantly we have a beautiful 2 year old son and I am 40 weeks pregnant with our baby girl! Due anytime now!
My life would sound perfect to most and some men/woman would give anything for what we have!
Believe me things are not perfect!
2 years ago both me and my partner got mixed up with the wring people and cocaine became a issue! Unlike most we was not addicted just used it every 2 or 3 weeks for 1 sociable evening!
I noticed it was effecting us financially and are hangovers had been so bad we could not do the fun things with our son that families should be doing!
I showed remorse and begged for my fiancé for things to stop before it became outbid control!
I became pregnant (still am now) and naturally the cocaine stopped for me and I am so happy! I no longer suffer guilt, remorse towards my son! The finances are much better and I’m just looking forward to a healthy lifestyle with my children!!!!
But oh no….. My fiancé has not changed ! Infact things have become worse for him! I have begged him to stop the cocaine and stop drinking! The drinking is a real issue with him as he cannot go to the pub, have one pint! He has around 10 bits and then has the itch for the devils dust “cocaine”….. This is generally every Friday evening!
As the months have gone on I have told him, “if u have not changed by the time the baby arrives, we are over”…..he accepted this and promised everything will b fine!
Things have not changed….. So much so that at weekend he went on a 2 day bender and pretty much got smashed! This is 2 days before my due date!!!!….. I cud of gone into labor and he would have missed the birth!
I was absolutely debarred and felt, unloved, betrayed…. I felt like some slapper from s one night stand that hd couldn’t care less about!!!! I have been with this man 11 years!!!!!
I was so disgusted that I packed his bags and sent him to his mothers!
I told him he can be at the birth and see he children etc….. I would never take them away from him!
The main problem is this……. He is the perfect fiancé/dad mon to thu…… He works his arse off! Gives me every bit of his wage for his family! He shows me love and adores his son ( although he can b a little lazy with him )……but cone those calls from his dirty mates and Friday evening comes, that’s it! He is a different man! He is a pissed up, drug snorting, hang over in bed loser!
I’m debarred that this is my wonderful fiancé and desperate to keep my family together! I’m so hurt and lost!
He has admitted hd has addiction and admitted he needs to drop his friends ect…… I don’t know if I should believe him and move on with my life as a single mum now! Everyone keeps telling me he will never change and after leaving me at 40 weeks pregnant I should never see him again! I know in my head that they are 100 percent right! But my heart just loves him so much!!!!!!
What am I going to do???? Help!!!!
Best answer:
Answer by Taurean
He has to get rid of his friends. Move to another state (along with him and kids) so that his friends cannot reach him.
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